It's funny how often we think we have control of our lives. For example, my husband and I are planners. We have always had a plan A and B, and sometimes even a C. We were lucky enough to have our plans work out for us when it came to having children, right down to the day they were born. We planned to be on a single salary while our children were little. We planned our move to our new house, getting a new car, vacations, events... Our budget is tight, but we have still be able to live comfortable. However we haven't been able to plan for everything. We didn't plan our daughter would have to be born by C-section 5 weeks early, or that I wouldn't be able to produce enough breast milk. We didn't plan that I would be diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in 2009, starting almost a decade of "what if's".
Being a planner, these "life bumps" have caused lots of anxiety, stress, and break downs (not what you want to have with UC). However being a planner has also helped see past the present and look to the future. I have been able to take back the control. I know that I can't plan for everything, but I can see different out comes and what path to take for each one.
Since 2009 I have had 4 flare ups, and have tried 5 different medications. But I have only met 3 people with UC. To be fair not many people like to introduce themselves with "hello my name is ___ and I have UC that causes me to have flare ups with bloody diarrhea for days, and weeks at a time. Yes there are Facebook groups, chat rooms, and websites to connect you to others, but I only read the worst of the worst. I could feel myself losing control of my UC and letting it consume me. So I did the only thing I could think of. Get off those pages, stop researching UC, and just focus on the information my awesome GI team provided. If a family member or friend sent me an article about UC I just deleted it. I didn't want to know too much. There were too many plans.
Now its 2017. My body has produced too many antibodies against Humira over the past 5 years so on to the next plan. Entyvio here we come. Part of the new plan is also to get a better hold on diet and exercise. I had lost 30 pounds over the last 8 years from flare ups. But the weight has come back (not all of it) and the Prednisone has not helped. One way I have found to hold myself accountable for diet and exercise is to write about it. So here we are. I'm not sure if anyone else will read this blog, but if they do Hello, I'm going to try to post at least once a week on the good, bad and ugly of my taking control of my UC. I also have another blog called Happy Hour, where I talk about being a stay at home mom, and starting to move back into the professional world. This is how I am Taking Control.
Cheers
No comments:
Post a Comment